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Kristine

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:( [Jul. 14th, 2013|08:50 am]
Kristine
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RIP Canadian prince :(

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20 days [Apr. 29th, 2013|04:43 pm]
Kristine
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It's been 20 days since little Benjamin passed away and today has been rough on me. Chris and I are trying to get back to some resemblance of normalcy but we both know it'll never truly be the same... We took a lot of baby things to storage today and that was rough because I'm realizing it'll be a very long time till I see those things again. I'm just sad today, I've been thinking perhaps a child isn't in the stars for us, I don't know, I guess the grief has me thinking far too much about far too many things.

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Half way there! [Apr. 6th, 2013|07:48 am]
Kristine
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So tomorrow marks 21 weeks! I think the worst part about this whole thing is the WORRY!!! I'm always such an emotional wreck! I have crazy hormones but also some legitimate fears about things going wrong :( I hope they are all proven wrong but I feel the sheer mental agony of being scared something bad will happen! I'm an ill person trying, praying, and hoping to have a healthy baby! I love him so very much already but I fear my body can't handle this process! I wish I had more reassurances even though friends and family have been supportive I suppose it's my slight case of being an inherited hypochondriac.

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Things I've learned during Pregnancy (20 wks down 20 to go!) [Mar. 31st, 2013|01:15 am]
Kristine
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1. Almost any and all weird symptoms I feel can be directly blamed on hormones and pregnancy, this includes but is not limited to bad moods, weird pains, and all food cravings be them good or bad.
2. You loose control of things you took for granted that you once had control over, ie. holding "it" in, temper tantrums, general coordination, excessively loud snoring/ breathing/ wheezing, and skin cleanliness.
3. I will probably never sleep well again, now because of a belly which in my unique case has both sides occupied by left/baby and right/kidney transplant, while back and tummy are not sleeping options, I'm left with little to no choice on sleep positions. Afterwards the newborn and so on and so forth, good bye late nights hello rising sun, or worse hello to both ! :(
4. The good things I've learned are plenty too, I feel stronger than I ever was, more responsible, capable. I know finances will be tight but I feel that I'm mentally and spiritually prepared to undergo this adventure that is parenting. I may not be PHYSICALLY there but I have the WILL to get there and the motivation to do it for someone else other than myself.
I pray these remaining 20 weeks go by smoothly, and I pray Benjamin comes into this world healthy and well. I love him more than anything and I haven't even met him yet. It's truly a miracle, this is all a great blessing!

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? [Nov. 7th, 2011|11:52 am]
Kristine
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I don't know what to do anymore.,,

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Wedding Shmedding! [Sep. 7th, 2011|11:13 pm]
Kristine
Okay so I am trilled Chris and I are engaged and if you want to go into technicalities we are also already married because we had the commitment ceremony but I am still left to plan this somewhat big wedding for the majority of our family and friends to attend next June. This "wedding planning" is what I am not cut out for one bit :( The first task to start the ball rolling is setting up the Ceremony and Reception Venue and that is easier said than done because all the "nice" places want several thousands of dollars just to rent their facilities! I have no help in this task really because Chris is tired which is understandable when he gets home from work, and my Mom merely reinterates that she wants this under a certain budget.
Easier said that done.
Our first choice was a showboat, the General Jackson, we actually went there and the place was nice but we were underwhelmed for the rental & catering fee being quoted at 5 g's and actually turning out to be more 6-7 when the e-mailed final estimates were sent. Mom called it highway robbery but I guess in this case it was Riverboat robbery??!!!?? Hahaha - I'm a dork I know....
I researched some more and found a few more possibilities but we still have to tour them...
Hermitage Hotel - The Viranda is beautiful with a arched cieling painted with a clouded blue and white sky.
estimate 5g's so far food and rental - decor
Ambrose House - historic Nashville house/mansion.
3g's not including food.
Fantasy Hall - Banquet Hall close to airport
3 g's not including food, but looks cheaper than others.
Juliet Chapel - Wedding Chapel by airport.
1,000 ceremony reception only hourderves so may have to have reception at later.
I honestly am overwhelmed by this all and I enjoy
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Craziest Aunt Ever! [Mar. 8th, 2011|12:38 am]
Kristine
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[Current Location |US, Tennessee, Murfreesboro, Rutherford, Saint Andrews Dr, 2247]

Okay so this post is all about how I absolutely strongly dislike my boyfriend's aunt Kristina! First of all she's a chronic liar, examples being several times where she has been caught lying. Second she creeps me out by hitting on Chris she's 30 btw and doesn't like being called Aunt, then denying it and claiming shes in a happy marriage when they are at the brink of divorce. I don't know why she gets me so riled up, maybe because she says she's had long confiding talks with Chris and he told her a lot, but she could be lying about that too! Ugh I really dislike her, she makes me question Chris and I don't want to. I thought he would tell me everything not her but she absolutely drives me mad!!

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Still Rainy but Smiling [Mar. 6th, 2011|12:25 am]
Kristine
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[Current Location |US, Tennessee, Murfreesboro, Rutherford, Franklin Rd]

I'm usually so depressed in these entries and for the past week or so I've been battling a bout of depression, I'm glad to report that it has subsided and I am once again in higher spirits. I thank the lord, my Chris, and even the family here who may at times annoy but in other times they are just what I need to get my mind in a better place then it was at. Chris, Katrina, Eric and I had gone to Cool Springs Mall Galleria and that outing was all that I needed to feel better about our situation here. I guess I really did need to get out of the house some and stretch my legs. Ryan has been sick this whole week now and we've been worried. I really don't want to get sick too but I know how he must feel lonely being quarantined in his room. We stayed home today and kept him company with hot tea, breakfast, chicken noodle ramen egg drop soup, and Shrek forever after it was fun and I hope it all made him feel a little better. I hate Saw movies, I'm glad they're over, plus I'm glad we didn't waste 26 dollars to see it in theaters! I'm all over the place so I'll sign off with content Chris being petted to sleep.... :)

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Two sleeping pills & a thunderstorm. [Feb. 24th, 2011|02:04 am]
Kristine
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[Current Location |US, Tennessee, Murfreesboro, Rutherford, Risen Star Dr, 3308]

So I'm listening to Q101 which is something I wouldn't regularly do at home in IL but here it is a reminder of home. I got the station via
an iPhone app. Is the iPhone 4 incapable of anything other than running flash? Today I got it to be a mouse for my MacBook, and now it's playing radio stations from home? How cool is that? Tonight has been pretty nice. The house guests have left and Chris and I had a nice quiet evening. We tried to watch the Next Karate Kid with Jackie Chan and Will Smith's kid but it was so bad that we lost interest. We just turned it off and listened to the rain and thunder outside, he fell asleep and I'm just awake, although I took two sleeping pills which should be kicking in at anytime. Wow hearing the new MCR song I had heard on Glee. Torn on who sung it better....

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Reflection on this journal. Complete overhaul effective ASAP! [Feb. 23rd, 2011|02:50 am]
Kristine
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[Current Location |US, Tennessee, Murfreesboro, Rutherford, Risen Star Dr, 3308]

So as I read a few of my last journal entries I've been a pretty sad sap. Nothing much has changed I mean it is 2:31 am and I'm writing on LJ on my phone in a pitch black room with Chris deep in slumber next to me, not much has sadly changed at all. Although I am much more aware of the sad bitching and moaning I do on this blog, but thats okay because I'm pretty certain the only person who will read it is me.
First of all as I like to do when I start writing after a long hiatus is catch up the reader which I'm sure is me in the future of what I'm doing currently in the present. First of all it's 2011 and I'm in TN living here for Christopher of course and both of us are actually none too happy with the situation. Don't get me wrong are apartment is sweet but we're city folk, big city folk, and Murfreesboro is just not doing it for us. We really plan on moving back after our lease is up in Oct. but we haven't told his family so I'm not really sure if he has committed to that plan as of now, but boy am I ready to go back :(
Oh more of me complaining, told ya things haven't changed much.
I suppose one thing that has changed is Chris and I have been in a really good place in our relationship. He has really been a better bf since the move. He has matured in this whole part of our journey.

See how happy we are in Chicago when we visited last month? I just hope things are different if we move back, I think they would be. We realized the mistakes we made when we had everything and took it for granted but I hope to think we don't let that happen again if given the chance...
Well I underestimated how hard it is to write a journal entry this late with no light in an apartment filled with a symphony of snoring so I'll just cut it short and simply say I will write more when I can, since I've been having a lot of sleepless nights for some reason...

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